The mind
Between love, lust, and biological needs
I have for the past few years been passively looking for a partner in life. Maybe due to fears of rejection, maybe because I don’t truly like myself, so I fear not being capable of liking others, or maybe due to the unrealistic movie plots that I hope to stumble upon love right around the corner. Whatever the reason is, I find myself a lonely sad 30 years old man with no noticeable success in life or experience. I do admit that some of my beliefs are outdated, but unless others can refute these beliefs with logical and reasonable discussions I don’t see a need for change. All of this is neither here or there, and it’s not what I want to explore and discuss. I wanted to revert to my timeline and explain the different emotions that I have felt toward the opposite sex and how to classify it.
My biggest curse, my greatest blessing, my brain. It has always guided me along the way, not my heart, feelings, or any other unknown unexplained measure of judgment we might have. Not to say that it have always guided me on the right path, no, not at all, we stumbled, we got fooled, we got used, manipulated, but for the most part, it has done well with me. For that reason, it became the final judge for all my decisions. If you trust emotional decisions to your brain, be sure that it will always lead you to the right path, even if you're fucked once or twice along the way.
If love is a two-way street it's somehow empty whenever I am along. The closest love experience that I had was at fourteen. I was attracted to a teammate of mine for two years, and during these years I told everyone that I am attracted to her, and would like to pursue an active relationship with her .... except.... That I never told her. Then I left the country never to return, she is now married to a friend of mine, who use to try to convince that she is the wrong choice for me, and have two or maybe three kids. Ever since that experience I have decided that whenever I like somebody I would tell them, life is short as it is without missed opportunities.
The filthy part, my needs *wink, wink* high school every kid with shit stains stuck to their underwear is with a girl, peer pressure is setting in and I am looking even for a donkey to stick it in. God damn Natalie was hot, Argentinian, black silky hair, and a body slim and tall as described in the holy sex book. Don't get your hopes up, I was a secret admirer for a semester, then confessed in the next, rejected, then got to school back the next day. I didn't give up, lowered my standard picked the next target, and bow boom shakla laka pon pon rejected....FUCK Highschool.....
Believe or not I did reject three relationships, one of which was extremely attractive, but it came to me after I picked my target. I might've been a dick, but I'm a focused dick, single targets only. But, regardless of how much biological needs you have, if there is no attraction, there is no attraction, throw one to the birds, or go make a deposit in a sperm bank.
Lust is a must, or is it? The dictionary (hahaha dic....) defines lust as intense sexual desire. I think that's wrong, I think that lust is a strong emotional desire or craving for a sexual act. Let me first say that love would include lust, biological needs, and encompasses a whole range of emotions, the other feelings do not have to be accompanied by love. Hence, lust is a lacking emotion which can cause some major issues in your life. When you confuse lust and love you are succumbing to your biological needs which take over all other thinking operations. You become a target for manipulation, blackmail, cheating, and other weakness. Have you ever heard of individuals who stay with their partners after they cheat on them, "But I love her/him so much", fuck you, no, this is not love. This is possession and fear, you fear that you won't find anyone of your caliber, and you feel a sense of entitlement not to lose what you already have.
No human being is ever worth you showering them with emotions that they don't reciprocate. Love is a continues emotion, day in and day out that you constantly keep on developing. expecting anybody to love you for what you are, except for your mother and even she thinks you're an asshole, is unrealistic. Take a step back every now and then to assess your relations, do not over think it. Do not allow bitches (being male or female.... Yaaahooo feminism) manipulate you, use you, blackmail you emotionally, cut them from your life and keep on moving forward. If you meet someone who deserves you and you deserve them, well that's great, if not, well, fuck it and throw it in a bucket. Know your morals, what are the aspects that you are looking for in your partner? Test each based on the criteria that you set. I mean here those things that you can't live without, those things that make you, you. And if you cannot find love like me, I wish love would find you.
My biggest curse, my greatest blessing, my brain. It has always guided me along the way, not my heart, feelings, or any other unknown unexplained measure of judgment we might have. Not to say that it have always guided me on the right path, no, not at all, we stumbled, we got fooled, we got used, manipulated, but for the most part, it has done well with me. For that reason, it became the final judge for all my decisions. If you trust emotional decisions to your brain, be sure that it will always lead you to the right path, even if you're fucked once or twice along the way.
If love is a two-way street it's somehow empty whenever I am along. The closest love experience that I had was at fourteen. I was attracted to a teammate of mine for two years, and during these years I told everyone that I am attracted to her, and would like to pursue an active relationship with her .... except.... That I never told her. Then I left the country never to return, she is now married to a friend of mine, who use to try to convince that she is the wrong choice for me, and have two or maybe three kids. Ever since that experience I have decided that whenever I like somebody I would tell them, life is short as it is without missed opportunities.
The filthy part, my needs *wink, wink* high school every kid with shit stains stuck to their underwear is with a girl, peer pressure is setting in and I am looking even for a donkey to stick it in. God damn Natalie was hot, Argentinian, black silky hair, and a body slim and tall as described in the holy sex book. Don't get your hopes up, I was a secret admirer for a semester, then confessed in the next, rejected, then got to school back the next day. I didn't give up, lowered my standard picked the next target, and bow boom shakla laka pon pon rejected....FUCK Highschool.....
Believe or not I did reject three relationships, one of which was extremely attractive, but it came to me after I picked my target. I might've been a dick, but I'm a focused dick, single targets only. But, regardless of how much biological needs you have, if there is no attraction, there is no attraction, throw one to the birds, or go make a deposit in a sperm bank.
Lust is a must, or is it? The dictionary (hahaha dic....) defines lust as intense sexual desire. I think that's wrong, I think that lust is a strong emotional desire or craving for a sexual act. Let me first say that love would include lust, biological needs, and encompasses a whole range of emotions, the other feelings do not have to be accompanied by love. Hence, lust is a lacking emotion which can cause some major issues in your life. When you confuse lust and love you are succumbing to your biological needs which take over all other thinking operations. You become a target for manipulation, blackmail, cheating, and other weakness. Have you ever heard of individuals who stay with their partners after they cheat on them, "But I love her/him so much", fuck you, no, this is not love. This is possession and fear, you fear that you won't find anyone of your caliber, and you feel a sense of entitlement not to lose what you already have.
No human being is ever worth you showering them with emotions that they don't reciprocate. Love is a continues emotion, day in and day out that you constantly keep on developing. expecting anybody to love you for what you are, except for your mother and even she thinks you're an asshole, is unrealistic. Take a step back every now and then to assess your relations, do not over think it. Do not allow bitches (being male or female.... Yaaahooo feminism) manipulate you, use you, blackmail you emotionally, cut them from your life and keep on moving forward. If you meet someone who deserves you and you deserve them, well that's great, if not, well, fuck it and throw it in a bucket. Know your morals, what are the aspects that you are looking for in your partner? Test each based on the criteria that you set. I mean here those things that you can't live without, those things that make you, you. And if you cannot find love like me, I wish love would find you.
0 comments:
Post a Comment